babyzwemmen - Timur goes swimming

We just found out yesterday at the 'informatieavond' that Timur would start swimming this coming Friday. The letter we got from Oerbron.nl said that the course was going to start in October. This is now good news and also a good time for Timur since his reflex of not letting water into his lungs still works at this age. I have no idea how this reflex is called. Papa is enthousiastic about swimming, since he loves water. He is pisces. I'm sure they will both enjoy it a lot. Mama will have free Friday evenings. Hurray! Win-win-win and even more win!!

visit kinderboerderij - an olfactory experience

We went to the domestic animal farm/zoo in our neighbourhood. It was a rainy day, but I though it was time for Timur to start liking the rain too. In this country it's such an integral part of your life, that you must like it otherwise you better go live somewhere else. We took a big umbrella and walked to the park and the kinderboerderij. The pig there man, she is damn smart. It's no wonder that the pigs run the show in Orwell's novel. We had a conversation with the pig both when we arrived and when we left. Her place was next to the door.

The cow gave us a long lame look and then went back to eat. The little goats were very friendly. They were running free in the stable. We could stroke them and they were very curious and were sniffing at us. Timur was a bit reluctanct to touch them, he was looking around with open mouth, completely speechless from the sight of all those anymals (what a funny typo). He knew them so far only from his little book and I was imitating the sounds to make the experience audio-visual.

And of course the smell is unforgettable. The smell of rain, hay, fur and of course some fresh excreta. Hmm, wonderful! I did horse-riding for a while and the smell of horse stables stayed with me for the rest of my life. There were also 2 ponies standing outside in the rain, sadly looking at us. In another pen 4 sheep were aimlessly running around. 2 had white and the rest had dark faces. They seemed pretty scared of the umbrella. ...On the way home Timur fell asleep and slept couple of hours after this adventure.

When we got home Timur was fast asleep

attachment parenting

A month before the birth I didn't know what/how I was going to do as a mother, I mean what kind of 'parenting style' I was going to follow. Of course, I had some ideas what to do with babies, since I was an au-pair for 2,5 years, but with your own child you want to do it right. I got some literature not only on pregnancy and birth, but parenting as well. Books such as, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, Successful Child, Baby Book, Oei, ik groei!, Babajelek, Baby Minds, Attachment Parenting, etc. This last book gave me direction and confirmed my motherly instincts. When I read this book I found everything so straightforward and following the ideas just came so natural to me. Seeing that Timur is a happy child, I feel confirmed in my choices. I feel good about being a mother and being an 'attachment parent'. They are right, if we pay attention to kids at this age, the rest will be much easier. I'm sure my efforts will pay off on the long run.

More about attachment parenting:
http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/articles/attachment-parenting.htm
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T130100.asp

no baby room, i.e. how we escaped sleepless nights

It's a fact, Timur does't have his own room yet. Does he really need one at this age? As good wannabee parents, we planned to furnish a baby room as we read in the parenting books, but unfortunately this project hadn't even reached it's climax before Timur was born. The room which was going to be the baby room was our study. We moved the computer into the living room and eagerly bought some cupboards to pretend that we were concerned. Honestly, we were much more busy with ourselves and work at that time. We thought that we just 'wait and see' how things go and proceed later according to what was necessary. We had no idea at that time what it meant to be parents and what adjustment we needed to make to our lives.

The advice of the kraamzorg was that it's good to keep newborns close to the mother, but not during the night. That's considered to be dangerous, which I totally understand. We were shown all kinds of tricks how to put the baby into bed, how high the blanket can be, use da kruik, because baby's cannot keep themselves warm etc. etc. Timur slept in his bed the night he was born. Well, his bed, which is actually an old pram we got from the Nina.Bart.Palom.Co. We liked the idea of having a mobile bed and place Timur in the house wherever we wanted to. He slept couple of more times in this bed during the first weeks. However, I found it much more convenient to have him next to me and not having to get up to feed him. In this way I could/can keep the continuity of my own night rest...

...and this is how we escaped having sleepless nights. When we slept, Timur slept as well. He was calm, he could smell us, the parfum of sweat and farts, and feel our warmth. Sooooooo important to such a young creature! The smart ones say that babies have an oceanic consciousness and they cannot differenciate between themselves and the rest of the world. So, why not enter and play part in Timur's little world? His own baby room would have broken down this limitlessness by creating unnecessary boundaries.

I also read about the good effects of co-sleeping in an attachment parenting book I got from our friend, Brent. I would never advise this co-sleeping to anyone though. Try it, experiment with it and be careful. It has advantages and disadvantages and you have to weigh all those. I think, co-sleeping fits with our non-traditional solutions. I like this third-world, tribal kind of arrangement, which I want to cherish. Away with all those expensive baby beds.

When Timur is able to conceive the idea of having his own room, we will help him to it. Am I idealistic, no I don't think so, I'm just practical and I want to follow his natural processes. When he gives signs of separation we will follow those, or at least try to. I believe we will naturally grow into that phase, we just need to keep our eyes open and reflect when necessary.

since we don't have a baby room, we turned the bedroom into a playground

fürdetés - babaúszás - vízi jóga

A fürdetés sajnos nálunk nem nagy dörgés. Ezekben a holland lakásokban többnyire nincs fürdőkád, így pancsikolni csak a kis müanyag babafürdőkádban lehet. Ezt Timur lassan kezdi kinőni, így most már időszerü, hogy felüljön, mert akkor megint nyertünk egy kis helyet. Timur szereti a vizet és szívesen fürdik.

A holland szülők a zuhany alá szokták magukkal vinni gyermekeiket. Én erre még nem bátorkodtam, mert félek, hogy leejtem. Egyszer már megpróbáltuk Timurt a zuhany alá vinni, de sírva fakadt az élménytől. Na, egyelőre nem eröltetjük a dolgot.

Mellesleg felíratkoztunk babaúszásra és októberben megyünk Timurral úszni. Ezt az Oerbron.nl szervezi, akiktől a szülőkádat is béreltük. Jártunk náluk vízi partner jogára is a terhesség alatt, ami mindhármónknak nagy élmény volt. A víznek félelmetes ereje van. Néha hideg, mogorva és dühöng, máskor pedig lágy, gyengéd és a gondjaiba fogad. A vízi jóga erről az utóbbiról szólt.

the short story of The Box

We were both ambiguous about the Box. Mathijs called it 'prison'. I thought of it as a 'maybe useful item', but still, poor kids. We got a nice colourful box from the Nina.Bart.Palom.Co and due to our ambiguity, we didn't set it up for a while. When Timur started rolling around and he fell off the couch, we thought, it was the time to set up the Box to keep our beloved son safe. This was a mistake.

We got a sponge for the box and also lifted the bottom, sinced I couldn't get him out of there, it was so deep. He was in there once. We set up the mobile toys to play with. Then we put him in there once more. Everything went still good. When I put him there the third time, he rolled around. When he wanted to roll back he banged his head against the rails. He started crying out of pain. Ik was er klaar mee. This was the last straw on the camel's back. I decided to get rid of the box. We wrapped it up the same day and put it to our storage room downstairs, where we store our bicycles.

04/03/06:
I heard today that the box is useful when kids learn to stand up. They can hold the rails and pull themselves up. Well, we'll see, we may still dig up that good old Box.

the first fall

The first fall happened about 10 days ago, when Timur fell off the couch. He fell asleep and since he was wrapped into a blanket, I thought he was safe. Then he woke up. He started mumbling to himself and slowly unwraped the blanket and moved to the edge of the couch. I heard the noises, but it was nothing alarming, I went on with my own things. Papa was also walking around. He had a busy day, he had to dress up nicely. While we were both busy, suddely Timur fell off the couch. ... He fell on his belly, but he still hit the floor with his head. We have carpet on the floor, so it's not that hard but still. I became very nervous and felt guilty for what happened. He cried for a while afterwards. I stayed next to him for the rest of the day, just in case. Mathijs says that the van Zutphens are hard-headed and they can take this much. Also dr. Spock said in his book that most babies fall at least once before the 7th month and that is ok, that belongs to it. This is how we all learn.

Besides, about a week before this accident, there was another time when Timur nearly fell off the couch. I managed to catch him at the very last moment. Then he was already hanging with his head from the couch. Scary!!! When I rescued him and was holding him in my lap he folded his hands together, like a little wise man, with an expression on his face: 'so what?' He made me smile. :)

After these incidents we made a safe and warm corner for him in the living-room. There is a flat sponge with lots of pillows, and some toys around. Now he can play and fall asleep any time he wants to. I guess, this is one of the functions of the Box. You'll hear our story with the box too.

music education

We started with music from the first day on, or rather even before. I was singing a Hungarian folksong to Timur even when he was still in my belly. He knows Tavaszi szél vizet áraszt very well and this song calms him down still today. He even reacts with a smile when I sing it to him. I also listened to music during my pregnancy trying to educate him in this way. I read that classical music was good for babies, so this is what we had after the birth. We have 2 Classical Chill Out cds, which we regularly listen to. He probably knows them by heart by now. :) We also have some Chinese and Indian music and now we are slowly introducing our own stuff, LGT, jazz from Mathijs, Erykah etc. He seems to react when he hears a new kind of music for the first time. I was breastfeeding once when Mathijs changed the music. Timur stopped for a while, listened and then went on. The expression on his face was: 'oh, this is cool'.

Mathijs has already introduced Timur the keyboard, the flute, the harmonica and of course, his saxophone. I shot some of the 'lessons' with our digicamera. We'll go on with music. I would like him to enjoy music (which is already happening) and maybe learn to play an instrument later, but we'll see. I don't want to project anything on him. Try not to show my expectations. Of course every parent has them. :)

Added on 22/02/06:
Mama borrowed a funny book from the library: Baby's & Music. As I flipped through, there is not much new in this book, though may give us some fresh ideas on how to proceed.

döglött béka és társai

Timur nagyon élvezi a mondókákat és dalokat, pl. a száraz tónak nedves partján, libapék, megfogtam egy szúnyogot, a part alatt, sárgarépa ez a busz, vagy azt, hogy:

Volt egyszer egy ember
Szakálla volt kender
Felmászott a fára
Leesett a sárba
Két kutya húzta
Harmadik meg nyúzta
Mari néni siratta
Laci báci kacagta

Sok verset és mondókát olvasunk és dalolunk a Cini-cini muzsukából is, ami igaz, szintén csak óvodáskorúaknak szól. A dalokat sokszor átköltjük és szoktam a dallamokra a Timur beceneveit (Timi-mimi, Timimanó, Manófalvi Manócska, Icike-picike Timike, Kis öregharacos, stb.) is énekelni. A hab a tortára a Régi Magyar Mondák, Szittyaország, Ménród, Hunor, Magyar, Attila stb. történetei. Az az igazság, hogy ezeket a történeteket én magam is élvezem, így mindketten jól szórakozunk.

minden napra egy mese - ez nem mese

Ez az a könyv, amit a kezdetek kezdetétől olvasok Timurnak. Vannak ebben mesék a világ minden tájáról és szerencsére nem olyan szabványosak. Nem sok a királyfi, szép királylány, meg a 3 próbás sztori, hanem inkább állatos történetek vannak benne, pl. Kutya-macska barátság, Miért rágják meg a fák kérgét a nyulak, Cinegenaptár, vagy hogyan tolt ki okos öreg kormorán a buta halakkal. Timur nagyon élvezi a mesehallgatást, habár még nem sokat ért belőlük. A mesék hossza pont elegendő ahhoz, hogy ne veszítse el türelmét. Eddig főként a hátán feküdt meseolvasás közben, ami azért volt jó, mert tudtam vele szemkontaktust tartani. Amikor a meseolvasást említem neki, akkor kezével, lábával kapálódzik örömében. Most már segítséggel az ölemben is tud ülni és kis mancsával babrál a papíron. Így nem látom az arcát és nem tudom figyel-e vagy sem.

Ami még érdekesség a könyvvel kapcsolatosan, hogy 1973-ban (egy évvel a születésem után) jelent meg a Móra Könyvkiadó gondozásában. A hátlapjára az van írva: HAT ÉVEN FELÜLIEKNEK. Szerencsére nem felkiáltójellel.

the mother tongue issue - az anyanyelv, mely mindig leigáz, mondta valaki valaha

A friend of mine asked today, why I was writing in English. Yes, indeed, why am I writing notes to my beloved son in English, while I am communicating with him in my beautiful native tongue, Hungarian? Jó kérdés. I guess, I am living in such a multilingual and multicultural environment that I unconsciously chose a neutral language that can be well understood by all those, who are watching us via the ether and also for family members, friends and kindred souls both in paprika Hungaria, just as well in cheezy Holland, or the rest of this crazy world. Forgive me my dear anderstalige reader, there will be posts here in Hungarian as well, which on the long run I won't be able to avoid. Előbb utóbb kibújik a szög a zsákból.

Timur is raised bilingual, Hungarian and Dutch and he won't have a chance to escape learning English, since it's an essential part of this household.

Kedves magyar ajkú olvasó, szeretettel üdvözöllek ezen a honlapon és megigérem lesz magyar blog is. Ami késik nem múlik. Úgy tünik, hogy ez a nyelv eddig egyfajta titkos kód köztem és Timur között, de majd lassacskán előbújnak a történetek.

127 days into Timur's life

The 18th week. Timur is getting more agile. He moves around a lot, rolls from side to side, sometimes gets into dangerous situations, if we don't watch out. After all the movements, he takes long naps and wakes up with a cute cry and a hungry belly. Mama read up on the current development of the issues and everything seems to go according to the norm. Well, what is norm? I just want to say that he is fine.

First time in the cinema

(I lost the first draft of this blog, this is the second one, less inspiring.)

We went to the Rotterdam Filmfestival last Friday. We took Greenwheels and also Nina with us. She was dressed so nice! The reason we went there was to watch a Hungarian movie (Nyócker), which I had helped subtitling. My old colleague, Ellen, asked me whether I wanted to do it with her. I think, we did a good job. It was difficult though, especially the songs. And there were plenty of them. This movie was the surprise on Friday night at 22.oo.

We had to be there, this was the Dutch permier of the film. Since we don’t have a babysitter yet, we took Timur with us. We thought he was going to sleep during the movie. He slept a little at the very end when he was already very tired. The loudspeakers were so loud, even for me. I was worried about Timur’s hearing, but Mathijs said (he knows everything) that it was ok. No damage done. I hope so.

Well, we had some drinks after the movie in a huge hall. Timur was awake, but very-very tired. He didn’t smile any more. He seemed to me a bit annoyed, but daddy said Timur enjoyed the party. Let it bee!